Over The Rainbow
by clockwork starlight
Summary: NARUTO x FURUBA CROSSOVER. A continuation of There's No Place Like Home. Alternate Universe, in which canon has no real meaning. I believe the popular term is 'crack'. If that means randominity, sparkles and mass confusion, I guess that works. ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

I have far too many crazy friends who like crack... Can I plead permanent insanity, and an addiction to crack?

Clockwork is doing it again... Someone stop her!

For **juliagulia1017**, **mI.ShOE** and my darlingest roommate.

Ladies, gentlemen and children; young, young at heart, and terminally immature, clockwork starlight is cackling evilly as she gives you:

* * *

Over The Rainbow

The best way to take one's mind off things, when one is an evil genius (emphasis on evil) is to go out and kill people.

Lots of people.

Orochimaru was still slightly traumatized by his ever so real, and ever so strange other worldly experience. Ninjutsu was one thing… but crossing worlds using only… shoes? _That_ was just creepy.

Anyway, he had a village to destroy.

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Tsunade sighed. Orochimaru had decided to attack Konohagakure no Sato. Again. Honestly, did the man have nothing better to do?

She summoned all the available ninja and gave her orders. The Rookie Nine, and the Jounin would meet the attack head on. ANBU and everyone else would disperse through the village and take care of trouble as it came. Really, this was becoming almost routine. Orochimaru _had_ to get himself laid at some point; there wasn't a whole lot of point taking out his frustrations on Konoha.

If Orochimaru had suddenly remembered just how strong Konoha was, he didn't bother acting on that knowledge. The Konoha nin seemed to have been paying attention, and automatically targeted those they knew to be the greatest threats. His ninjas were being decimated. The only thing he could think of doing was to summon Manda. He could only hope that the snake would allow himself to be Summoned and _stay_ this time. He bit his thumb…

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Ayame talked too much. That was really the only conclusion Yuki could come to at this moment. It wasn't like anyone in Shigure's house _cared_ that he'd made some perverted old man happy with his… dress. No one except Tohru… and Yuki was fairly certain it was only because she had no clue what Ayame was babbling about. He finally lost it when Ayame eagerly suggested that _Tohru_ try some of the items that happy customer didn't want.

He and Kyo both sent Ayame straight through several walls, into the only bathroom that had not been touched since New Year's.

It still made them all slightly uncomfortable, even after they finally plucked up enough courage to remove Hanajima's… decorations. Shigure whimpered slightly as his house suffered yet another hole. He peeked into the bathroom as the dust cleared. Instead of finding Ayame sprawled on the floor, there was no sign of his loquacious friend. He'd investigate later, he had a hunch Mii-chan was going to show up today. In fact…

"SENSEI!"

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Manda wasn't going to come. Orochimaru could sense it. Something was wrong, he hadn't done something right… he tried to stop the jutsu, but the chakra wouldn't stop flowing out of him. Finally, he managed to separate himself from whatever was draining his chakra… it felt other-worldly. This could be better than a temperamental snake. There was a black-ish glow on the side of the Hokage's building. It roiled in dark purple and black waves, that looked almost like lace. Something or someone was coming through; the Konoha nin tensed; and Orochimaru waited with anticipation. The something hurtled out of the void and landed with a crash and a rather feminine noise of surprise and pain.

"Oh my… I didn't know Yuki was _this_ strong." The figure stood and looked around. Orochimaru felt the terror welling up and falling back down in the pit of his stomach like lead. The Konoha nin focused on the new comer with slightly more apprehension, seeing the reaction of the summoner. The man flipped his long hair over his shoulder and saw Orochimaru. The Snake Sannin didn't have enough time to react.

Ayame launched himself at the only familiar face.

"It's you! I do hope you're enjoying the dress; it did look so very good on you. Mine-chan hasn't worn anything but gingham ever since. We were so glad to help you…"

"Did that guy just say "dress"?" Orochimaru realized with growing dread that it was the loud mouthed Kyuubi vessel that had spoken. Tsunade's face was unreadable. Jiraiya… was fighting back laughter. The other Konoha ninja were looking at him with the one thing he couldn't stand. Amusement.

Orochimaru disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving his ranks in confusion. Ayame didn't notice his 'pillar of support' disappearing, he was far too caught up in describing, in great detail, his next Great Masterpiece. The Konoha ninja just stared.

"What the hell was that?"

* * *

For those who were quirky enough to enjoy There's No Place Like Home... happy July.  



	2. Chapter 2

No. Nothing is sacred anymore. I will play with whatever I wish to. Because this is CRACK and everything and everyone is at my mercy.

Still don't own it. And I wished I owned alcohol. Not that y'all needed to know that... Some one really shouldt stop me before someone gets hurt. Bad writing is a killer.

* * *

Ayame turned to the source of the query. A blonde, buxom young woman was tapping her feet, and he could feel the earth rumble ever so slightly. His hair billowed from some mysterious breeze that found its way into the city, despite the buildings. His face was the picture of benevolence and style and understanding. Soft sparkles and light pink clouds somehow lit up from behind him, even though the sun was in entirely the wrong part of the sky to make him glow like that. He bowed gallantly, and answered her. 

"That, dear lady, was a grateful customer… Though he wasn't wearing my gorgeous creation…" Ayame tapped his chin thoughtfully. "He's probably saving it for a special occasion!"

Tsunade gave the stranger a _look_. Jiraiya finally gave in and collapsed to the ground, laughing uncontrollably.

"Uchiha!" Sasuke stood to attention at the Hokage's snarl. "Did you catch what exactly Orochimaru did?"

"It looked like a normal Summoning jutsu to me…" Sasuke began.

"And yet, foolish little brother, it wasn't." Itachi finished. Sasuke gave his older brother a glare that clearly said "I still hate you, and you had better be so grateful they won't let me kill you."

Ayame pounced on the magic words. "Your little brother? I must say he looks a great deal like you. My own brother refuses to acknowledge the deep love he has for me in his heart, but I suppose that we can't all be—"

Itachi's hand was fastened to Ayame's throat, cutting off the unceasing babble. Fortunately for the Snake, he was very used to physical abuse, and he didn't bruise, scar or in any way mar his good looks whenever he was sent flying.

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"He must have left some time. He's not here now…"

As Kyo and Yuki bickered, Tohru's eyes began swirling; the bathroom was in utter disarray, the door was lying on the floor very much worse for wear and the wall was cracked, and there was an odd tingly feeling at the base of her neck. As if Hanajima were using denpa…

"Um… if one of you could lift the door…" She started hesitantly, only to have both of them try to squeeze through to help _before _the other. Tohru didn't quite know what to do with the competitive drive crackling almost tangibly, and made to step back. However Honda Tohru had never been notorious for her grace and agility. She slipped on a piece of debris. She tried to right herself, flailing madly, but overbalanced anyway, falling forward instead of backward, and sending all three of them into the wall.

Correction, her stumble sent all three of them into a flicker of darkness and into an ungainly pile on the ground. Two smoky explosions later, Tohru found herself on top of an orange cat and a little grey rat.

"I'm such a klutz." She wailed, burying her face in her hands, not realizing there were a number of people very much startled by the appearance of more people, and by the sudden transformation without the use of hand seals. "Yuki-kun, Kyo-kun, are you alright?"

"I'm fine, you big doofus." Kyo muttered, too squished to notice the audience.

Yuki wriggled out from beneath the folds of her clothes to try and comfort her but paused. "Honda-san… we're not alone."

"Eh?" Tohru's head snapped up.

"Some one tell me what the HELL is going on!" Tsunade barked. It suddenly struck her that there was still an invasion to deal with. She rubbed her temples, and again wished she had never listened to Naruto and become Hokage. Not for the first time, she swore she was going to give Naruto to the Academy as a training dummy. "Jiraiya, take some of these idiots and get your ass out there! Uchiha, Hyuuga, Naruto, you stay with me."

"Sure thing, Hokage-sama." Jiraiya saluted her mockingly and disappeared with the rest of the shinobi.

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Tsunade wished desperately she had a keg of sake. She felt that this time, she would be justified in drinking it all.

The Hyuuga cousins were excellent diplomats, Hinata making them less guarded, Neji interrogating them with out using unnecessary force. Not that this group of four were anything to waste time over. The gods of Fate were probably just as drunk as she wished she were.

"Okay, so you're from another world, so what? What the hell are you doing _here_!" Naruto yelled, thoroughly fed up with the useless (in his opinion) questions.

"Who the hell is this brat?" Kyo snapped; his temper in no way improved from his 'trip' and now this interrogation.

Tsunade sighed and pulled Itachi away from the cluster of people and the Hokage and Uchiha prodigy tried to figure out what to do.

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"Who are you calling a brat?" Naruto screamed back, locking glares with the other irate teenager.

"Dobe, he's calling _you_ a brat." Sasuke muttered snidely.

Tohru looked upset at the sudden turn to anger. "Kyo-kun, don't- don't hurt him."

Hinata touched Tohru's shoulder lightly. "I-I wouldn't w-worry about him hurting Naruto-kun."

"Yeah, the moron never does know when to just give up." The younger Uchiha sighed.

"The same could be said of that idiot." Yuki said, unsurprised things had fallen to violence. It was a given when Kyo was around.

Ayame, who had been unusually quiet during the entire 'interview' finally spoke up.

"Hinata-kun." The Hyuuga heiress turned to him in surprise. "I was right! You _would_ look best in white. Or maybe the maid outfit. Just like Tohru-kun! If I had such cute models, _every_one would come to my store. Mine-chan would love to meet you."

The two girls instinctively leant toward each other in response to the frightening prospect, neither quite sure what the man was talking about, but certain that it wouldn't end well.

* * *

It's a ridiculous story, it doesn't have any plot to speak of, and there is a blatant disregard for anything and everything that should be. My own amusement, however, says that it stay up, in case anyone out there is actually old enough to get slightly plastered. It's funnier when you're inebriated. Like most things are. WE're sorry if the first few chapters are boring, we need SOME kind of continuity. I can't just have Ayame and Mine drop in and stick Itachi in a mermaid costume. Well ok, I _could_, but I'm not going to. Yet. 

I need practice writing crack... It doesn't seem to be my forte.


	3. Chapter 3

Standard disclaimers and blah blah blah apply and stick, like if Shino gingerbread and Hinata was icing and Kiba was... ok... stopping there.

Dedicated to **juliagulia1017** for being my crack muse.

* * *

"Ayame-sensei!" Kuramae Mine stuck her red riding hooded head into the echoingly empty house.

"Mine-chan!" Shigure greeted his cousin's assistant cheerfully, sticking his own head into the hallway, the pen pinched between his nose and mouth falling to the ground. "What a cute outfit!"

"Isn't it?" Mine twirled to show off the red and white checked gingham dress and the scarlet cloak. "I even brought a basket!" Her wardrobe only distracted her for a minute. "Where's Ayame-sensei? He hasn't come back to the shop. He was only supposed to find out of Tohru-chan wanted a dress for her birthday."

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Mine didn't notice the corner of her cape catch on a splintered piece of wood. So it was very much a surprise when, upon taking a step forward, she was yanked back. Shigure panicked, not wanting to transform, though he still wasn't sure how much Mine knew about Ayame, he wasn't going to take the chance. His hands caught her back and pushed, so she wouldn't fall onto him. She stumbled forward cloak fluttering madly and fell against the wall. Which suddenly opened into a swirling purple and black tunnel. Shigure watched in fascination as she tumbled into it. To his surprise it was still there, even after Mine's little white mary-janes disappeared.

"So that's what happened to Aya. I suppose that's where Tohru-kun and the boys went." He examined the portal thoughtfully. Cautiously he poked it and was mildly unnerved to see his hand disappearing. "Well, they'll come back eventually. If not, I'll just have Ritchan bring me takoyaki." Pleased with his solution of the matter, he went back to work. According to his calculations, Mitchan would be by again for the second part of the manuscript the next day, so he had to finish the fourth segment if he was going to completely enjoy doing nothing in her presence but cause her grief.

* * *

"Eep!" Hinata's neck prickled and she quickly pulled Tohru away from the wall she had fallen from. Not a second too soon, for Mine landed there with a startled 'oomph!'. Her surprise was quickly pushed away as she launched herself toward Tohru and Hinata. Little Red Riding Hood had never looked so hungry for little girl.

"What a cute girl your friend is, Tohru-chan! I think you two would look absolutely _lovely _in angel costumes…"

The girls found themselves cornered, between the wall and two decidedly insane adults.

"Kuramae-san!" Yuki started forward with a mind to save the girls. And then he was eyelevel with the still open portal. He turned to look, and spotted something red floating lazily in the void. He looked to Mine and noted the red ribbons, suggesting the cloth must have come from her, and the foreign object must be what was keeping the portal open.

"Mine-chan! What are you doing here?" Ayame took her hand in his, hair flowing freely, which somehow or other added to the warm benevolent image. It must be a Sohma thing, Tohru decided shakily, watching the designer greet his seamstress.

"Looking for you, sensei!" she chirped, bouncing on her toes, making the ribbons in her hair flutter. "You didn't come back, so I came to find you. But I also found some very cute girls, and I would just _love_ to..." She turned her predatory gaze back to the two agitated girls.

"Great minds think alike, my Mine-chan! I was just thinking that Hinata and Tohru should join forces and model for Ayame's Shop of Romance!"

"Tohru-san," Hinata whispered uncertainly. "Ano… what are they talking about?"

"Eeto…" Tohru had a flashback of tulle and cream colored chiffon. _Oh dear._

* * *

"Nii-san! Kuramae-san came through the portal!" Yuki was as close to shouting as his dignity would allow. "Her cloak is still in there, keeping it open. Honda-san, we should leave."

"My hood? My red riding hood? Keeping it open?" Mine turned to look at chibi-boss—er, Yuki. It finally dawned on her that she wasn't in Shigure's house anymore. "Oh but if it's still open, there's no rush! We can leave it in there and come back and forth and back and—" The ribbons were coiling and unfurling like they were having a seizure; Mine was close to humming with excitement. The ninja, despite inhuman reflexes and incomprehensible skills, were being left in the dust of this conversation.

Kyo and Naruto had paused their offstage shouting match at Yuki's raised voice. "So we aren't stuck here? Great. I'm with the rat for once, let's go. Now."

"You think you can walk away from me?" Naruto demanded stridently. "Afraid to get beaten by a ninja?"

Kyo paused. "Give me five minutes. It's all I'll need." He turned back to the blonde, fists at the ready.

"Bring it, pretty boy." A lone leaf decided then would be a good time to hit the ground; for dramatic effect, and it was tired. The boys took its surrender to the earth as the cue to begin.

"Dobe! Taijutsu only." Sasuke called to the fighters.

"I don't _need_ more than that, Sasuke-teme!" Naruto snarled back, blocking one of Kyo's punches and returning it.

"So Hinata-chan." Mine began with an innocent smile.

"She's not going anywhere." Neji snapped. His cousin. Staying here. First off, he didn't trust these people farther than he could… well okay, he could throw them quite a ways, I mean, he was the Hyuuga Genius, but still. Second there was no way he was letting his cousin go through that… _thing_ in the wall. Mostly because Hinata was his cousin. _Cousin_. Close relationship, strictly platonic. Really. There was also the little matter of her being Hyuuga Heir, and misplacing her being a heinous crime worthy of… many things, painful and slow.

"Well fine!" Mine pouted. "Boss, it looks like we'll just have to come back with the materials."

"I agree." Ayame declared. "These people know nothing of fashion. Who wears green spandex with orange legwarmers? Mine-chan, we have much to do. But we'll start with them." He gestured grandly to Hinata and Tohru, who were still clinging to each other.

The other shinobi were caught between watching the drama, which was new and unexpected to say the least, and watching Kyo match Naruto blow for blow. Somehow, ninja life in Konoha had just gotten more interesting.

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Hmm... clockwork should probably be doing something constructive... like working on her other chapter fics... heavens knows they need it. Make this worth my time, and review? 


	4. Chapter 4

Don't own either anime. The costumes were slightly inspired by the Chobits wall scroll sitting over there. Hugs and kisses to **juliagulia1017 **because great minds think alike. And because she's my crack muse.

* * *

"I don't see any harm in it. And his presence was certainly useful in getting rid of Orochimaru. The children haven't done anything to merit exile, so why not?" Tsunade took a swig of her much beloved sake. "Besides, it was getting boring around here anyway." 

"But Hokage-sama… He's absolutely insane." Uchiha Sasuke rarely felt sympathy, but he could only imagine what this boy Yuki had to go through.

"He can't hurt anyone but himself. I hear Sakura sent him flying, he was up and at it after five minutes."

"Yeah, he kept saying she'd make a wonderful Chibiusa… whatever the hell that is." Naruto scatched his head in indifference, having been more preoccupied in kicking the stupid cat's ass without resorting to ninjutsu.

"Godaime-sama!" The door was flung open and the hurricane of righteous wrath that was Hyuuga Neji burst into the room. "That… that psychotic idiot has taken Hinata-sama and—"

"Is she hurt or in anyway being taken advantage of?" Tsunade interrupted.

"No, but he's—"

"The stop wasting my time. Sasuke, go make sure Hinata-chan isn't dead of embarrassment."

* * *

"Sohma-kun and Kyo-kun think we look… bad?" asked Tohru hesitantly, as Hinata was too busy staring at the ground to even think about opening her mouth. 

"Of course not, Honda-san." Yuki was quick to say something. The stupid cat was trying to gather his wits, and who knew how long _that_ would take. "I just wasn't expecting Hyuuga-sama and Honda-san to look so… cute." Cute wasn't really the best word, heavens knew there were very many adjectives running through Yuki's mind, but he didn't want both girls in a dead faint. Hyuuga-sama looked ready to fall over as it was.

There was a puff of smoke that had nothing to do with the Sohma.

"Uchiha-kun!" Hinata's ninja reflexes were quickly overwhelmed by the idea of Uchiha Sasuke witnessing her in _this_. _This_ being a lacy confection of a dress, the match to Tohru-san's; and the ribbons winding around her limbs did nothing to change the fact that this had to be the most skin she'd ever shown in public; only maybe a little more covering than when she'd been completely naked at a waterfall. Crinoline petticoats under the silvery taffeta barely covered modesty, and the matching ribbons crisscrossing her left leg and arm did nothing to make her feel more comfortable. She felt like a giant present, without much wrapping to speak of. Feathery wings only slightly larger than her hands were perched on her shoulders. Tohru-san looked only slightly more comfortable, but no less embarrassed. Having seen the length of her uniform's skirt, Hinata supposed it wasn't surprising. At least _she_ knew how to walk without flashing anyone. Hinata was completely unused to walking in the stiff white boots, and she was in no mood to try. Not in front of all these people.

"Oi, bug-freak, I've found her! I think." Akamaru yipped a confirmation, displaying enough respect to not leap into Hinata's arms. "Hinata-chan?"

"Kiba-kun!" _And _Shino-kun? Oh could the day _get_ any worse?

"You look hot. You should show Ino, she'd probably want to get one of her own. And I bet the other blonde's jaw would hit the floor." Kiba winked conspiratorially. Apparently it could get worse… much worse. Hinata didn't even want to _think_ about what Naruto would say about it. But it was too late; Kiba was pulling her away to show the rest of the Rookie Nine. Tohru had gone back into the apartment to put on her own clothes, and her princes had gone in to make sure the Snake kept his costumes to himself, so it was just Sasuke and the shadows.

Sasuke hadn't wanted to mention that when the mutt had yanked his teammate off, the fluttery material of her 'skirt' had fluttered its way past modesty, showcasing white lace and even more skin.

"Hyuuga, your nose is bleeding."

"And I always knew you were gay, Uchiha." Neji shot back from the relative safety of the darkness.

* * *

"Honda-san, are you alright?" Yuki asked in concern. The gentleman in him was outraged that his brother could subject two such shy girls to his stupid perversions. However that part also had to acknowledge the girls looked… for lack of a better term, enchanting. He was almost sad to see her back in her much abused uniform. Kyo had been uncomfortably silent and had left claiming some excuse. 

"I'm fine!" Tohru protested quickly. "But Uchiha-kun's eyes were so scary!" She shivered in remembrance of those soulless black depths.

"We would understand if you never wanted to come here again…"

"Oh no, Hinata-san is so good to me. And Ino-san reminds me of Uo-chan. And—"

"I understand!" Yuki hastily reconciled himself to spending a great deal more time here. At least here his… condition wasn't a problem, not to ninja who saw and did stranger things daily. And he couldn't imagine Hatori here, wiping memories and getting away with it. The woman Tsunade was probably very capable…

"Does Sohma-kun not like it here?" she asked timidly.

"It's not that… I've just never seen nii-san so… excited. And the stupid cat went and challenged another one to fight with him. I just don't want us to forget this isn't _our_ place."

"But no one cares if Sohma-kun transforms." Tohru seemed so happy for them; she didn't seem to realize that was part of the allure of staying here and never going back. But so long as they had the option of coming here, he could forget, for a little while at least, the weight of the name Sohma.

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Scandalous! But fun to write. whee. 


	5. Chapter 5

Well... it's not dead. Maybe only mostly dead. Que sera sera? What will be, will be written. I don't own Naruto, Marvel's Spiderman (still a DC chippie) or Fruits Basket. What can you do?

The obvious answer being... fanfiction.

* * *

Over the Rainbow Chapter 5

Shigure had a prickling feeling at the base of his skull. It wasn't the sharp blade-like tickle of Akito's presence. More like… _oh no_. He cautiously approached the front door and peered out. He quickly threw it open and beamed welcomingly, if the smile was a bit strained, Hanajima didn't appear to care.

"Good afternoon," she greeted him sedately. "I sensed a disturbance. Where is Tohru?"

Shigure had the grace to look slightly hesitant. "Um… she's…"

"Never mind." She glided into the house, Shigure nearly falling over himself to avoid getting an inadvertent embrace. For more than one reason.

He watched helplessly as Hanajima made her dainty way unerringly toward the bathroom and coolly examined her portal.

"Interesting. Please excuse me."

She adjusted her elaborately embroidered gloves and delicately tiptoed through. Shigure heaved a sigh of relief. He almost felt sorry for that other world. Whatever the hell it was. If something ate Yuki or Kyo, well… he'd just have to pay a visit to the high school girls… er… high school administration to inform them. When the occasion arose. Till then… he had a bodice ripper that needed less bodices and more ripping.

* * *

Kiba paused, hunching slightly, like his hackles would be raised, but had settled for a more human expression. Hinata looked at him questioningly.

"His spidey senses are tingling," Shino informed her blandly.

Kiba was interrupted before he could snarl about the statement's inappropriate hypocrisy, general untruth and copyright infringement.

"Such lovely denpa."

Team 8 turned slowly, knowing they didn't know the speaker, but needing to confirm it anyway. She was a little taller than Hinata, with crackling black hair. Her eyes held the same lightless quality as Hinata's in deep violet. Her head was tilted to one side, gloved hand curled artistically against her cheek. She seemed quite at home, despite the layers of black clothing and the Konoha sun. Her eyes lit upon Team 8 with nary a change in expression.

"Have you seen Tohru?"

Neither boy uncoiled from their wary posture. It seemed Hinata would have to take care of the stranger.

"Y-you must be Hanajima-san. Welcome to Konoha, I'm Hyuuga Hinata." Hinata bowed awkwardly, uncomfortably aware of how much material _wasn't_ in her skirt. "Tohru-san is with Sohma-san in that building." Hinata gestured weakly behind Hanajima, past the blockade surrounding the gateway, to the building where Sohma Ayame had set up temporary shop. He had charmed _someone_ into letting him use materials and cloth and sparkles in extravagant excess. Hinata had heard him mention (proclaim at the top of his lungs to anyone who cared to listen and a number who didn't) that his most important mission here was to get rid of the jumpsuits. She wondered how Gai-sensei would take to having his beloved outfit… i_mproved._

"Ah. I imagine you've made very good friends with her. Come, I must see for myself if this is a," she paused as if searching for the right degree of cold dead menace to put into her voice, "_suitable_ place for Tohru-kun." She swept by, grasping Hinata's beribboned arm, ignoring the presence of the blockade and the two boys flanking the rather shell shocked girl. She paused in passing as if something had only just occurred to her. She gestured the two boys closer, and with no uncertain authority in her voice addressed Kiba.

"Be a good boy and fetch us some snacks."

Kiba instinctively hunched and growled, and was rewarded with a stinging _zap_ on the nose that sparked in the air and made Shino inch away carefully.

"Something tasty; enough for Tohru, Hinata and myself." She shooed them on with one lace covered hand.

Hinata was too busy having horrifying visions of what would happen if she went back into the shop to notice the other girl was pulling her back into the shop. When it did finally dawn on her that she was being led back into the lion's den of alarmingly obsessive fashionistas, she tried to slow her forward motion by digging her feet into the ground and protesting frenetically, if incomprehensibly. However skilled a ninja one is, there are just some people incapable of walking and chewing gum at the same time. This particular example ending in flailing, fluttering, and finally fanservice.

Hinata looked down in utter mortification at her cousin who had been not so happily sandwiched in his attempt to save her and her modesty. She fainted dead away when she realized that underneath Neji was a very unhappy Sasuke.

"What the _hell_ just happened? Is Hinata alright? And don't you two just _lie_ there, get _up_… I mean, in the physical sense… the not perverted… oh fuck it all…"

Hanajima looked coolly at Kiba, who was nowhere close to getting her snacks, instead he was dancing around much like Kyou when someone said anything to imply… actually, when someone said anything at all, he usually ended up angry and flustered. Such delightfully chaotic waves. She supposed the unconscious girl might have something to do with the boy's condition, so she let it go. For the moment. She answered his question in her usual deadpan, as if hoping that the knowledge would move him to get something to eat. "It happened as follows: Hinata stumbled."

"Hyuuga… get the hell off of me." Sasuke was not amused. Considering how little the heiress was wearing, it could have been a better experience, but…

"The taller boy went to catch her," Hanajima continued serenely.

Neji was too busy trying to work out a way in which to take Hinata back to the safety of the Hyuuga estate, without any more… _accidents_, to pay any heed to the ninja he was sitting on. It didn't help that the outfit was _still_ a distraction.

"He misjudged the distance."

"Hyuuga, I'm fucking serious. _Move._"

"Hinata fell into him…" the narration went on.

"Inuzuka, don't you dare touch my cousin." A hand glowing with chakra threatened to remove one softened with a dozen grooming products… and those were just for the dog.

"Well you're not getting anything done _under_ her," came the belligerent reply.

"He fell backward into the other boy…"

"Shino… are you _laughing_ at this?"

"who was walking through the street at an inconvenient time." Hanajima concluded.

Sasuke let his head fall back onto the road. He was too tired, and the Hyuuga was probably too wired for him to make any sudden moves. Well, the Hokage had been right, it wasn't boring any more at all.


End file.
